OUTLASTING
Katatatt
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sextspert:

superwholock-at-hogwarts:

chevvybar:

hiddlestalker:

lifehackable:

More Life Hacks Here

Day 1: you ripped open my vagina and I hate you
Day 5: just kidding you’re so cute and soft and small lol I could fit you in a handbag
Month 2: STOP CRYING PLEEEAASE. JUST ONE HOUR OF SLEEP AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVERRRR
Month 5: mama? Mama? Mama? Say it? Please? Say something? Please
Month 8: IF. YOU. DON’T. STOP. SAYING. MAMA. THE. POLICE. WILL. NEVER. FIND. THE. BODY.
Year 1: One down. 17 to go…
Year 1, Month 11: oh god.. it’s coming…
Year 2: NO PLEASE JUST PUT THAT DOWN. NNOOO! DON’T TOUCH THAT! Baby, i love you no matter whaT BUT PLEASE DON’T TOUCH THAT JJUST STAY STILL PLEASE SWEETHEART
Year 3: Oh thank god that’s over
Year 4: Awwww, you went to preschool. isn;t that adorable, my little intellectual shit
Year 5: ACTUAL SCHOOL! YOU LEARNED COLORS AND NUMBERS YOU’RE A GENIUS

Year 15: You called me a fuckwit. What the fuck is a fuckwit?

year 16; oh god no LIGHTLY step on the gas NO NON NO NO YOU DONT HAVE TO PRESS THAT HARD ON THE BREAK!!!

year 17: I caught you masturbating but you didn’t notice so I didn’t say anything. You’re welcome.
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bromancer:

i like the word assassin because it has 2x as much ass as any other word

122,753 notes / 5 days ago / Reblog

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vvebkin:

facebook on your birthday 
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darthcaillou:

katatatt5:

I hope life is wearing a condom cause I am getting fucked hard.

Well better have another one, death will show up eventually and they’ll run train on you

Doesn’t sound too bad

4 notes / 6 days ago / Reblog

Someone send me money for cigarettes and a caffeinated beverage. If life is gonna fuck me, I would at least like a refreshing drink and a smoke after.


Ps. Also my birthday is in like a week or so, so….

0 notes / 6 days ago / Reblog

nasturbate:

BREAKING NEWS: Lady Gaga splits the ocean and leads the gays to the promised land

27,612 notes / 6 days ago / Reblog

Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation

485,484 notes / 6 days ago / Reblog

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

fuuck your bedtime mom. its probably like 5 am in china right now. time is a human construction that doesnt even exisgt. if u reject time you can transcend it. please i want to play halo

224,271 notes / 6 days ago / Reblog